We started IVF stuff in November (I think) of 2021. I had to take 3 shots a day, plus a crap ton of vitamins. It’s basically as awful as everyone says it is, but I feel like most people say that because of the shots. For me, the hormone fluctuations were by far the worst part of everything.

We went in for the egg retrieval and they were able to get 9 eggs, which were then taken to the lab to be fertilized. I wound up getting really sick (Fever, chills, etc), so we were worried I had an infection. It lasted about a week, at which point they called me to let me know that out of the 9 eggs, 3 were where they needed to be developmental-wise after being fertilized, with a 4th one almost there. They said they’d give the 4th one another day to catch up, and it did, so we wound up with four embryos! They froze them and I had about a month to relax before starting the transfer cycle.

The transfer cycle was going to involve more shots/meds, but they wouldn’t start until about 5 days before the transfer. I went in a lot for ultrasounds and blood work to check my hormone levels. My body decided not to cooperate and nothing they did helped. My lining was too thin and my hormone levels were too bad to go ahead with the transfer, so it got cancelled. My doctor said that occasionally (but rarely) some people’s bodies don’t respond well to a medicated cycle, so this next go around she wanted to try a natural cycle with hormone support. It meant I didn’t have to take shots, which was a blessing because these ones were ones that would HURT, but it also meant there would be a ton of guesswork because we had to monitor everything and wait for my body to be ready rather than telling it when to be ready.

It wound up working out and we had the transfer on Tuesday (March 29th, 2022)! Now we just have to wait. We go in on April 8th to do a blood pregnancy test to see if it stuck and the wait is killing me. I’m supposed to take it easy until then to give myself the best chance of it implanting, but it’s so hard! I hate not being able to be physically active to take my mind off things, yet at the same time, I’m paranoid that if I do anything besides sit around I’ll make it not work. I wasn’t going to let myself get excited until I was far enough along the baby would make it, but on the way to the transfer neither of us could help it and I decided that if we lost it, it would be horrible either way, so we might as well enjoy it while we can. Now I’m not sure. I just hate not knowing! It’s been stressful the whole time, but this is by far the most stressful part to-date. I keep wanting to do things like make a baby blanket or paint the “nursery” but then I remember that if we have a miscarriage I’m not going to want that reminder, so I don’t. With how everything worked out, I firmly believe that whatever is supposed to happen will, but it doesn’t make it less hard.

I’ve been cramping since the transfer, which could be a good sign, or it could just be because I’m taking progesterone, but I’ve decided that anytime I get sick to my stomach or have cramps, or really anything else, if it means I’m pregnant, I’m more than happy to deal with it. I will gladly be sick for 9 months if the outcome is a baby. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m grateful for the experience. It’s helped me appreciate all Matt does for me and the amazing person he is. I’m glad that I have him and I’m so grateful that out of all the people on this planet, we were put in each others way. He is the most amazing person and whether we wind up having kids of our own or not, I’m lucky for everyday that I get to spend with him.